On the Edge
I am leaving for Bonn in six hours’ time. In recent times excitement and anxiety have been steadily converging, and now it feels like they’re two names for the same feeling.
During the process of getting ready to leave, the thought of immersing myself in a different culture has led me to appreciate how greatly our thoughts and actions are culturally influenced. Everything I’ve done this week has seemed to reverberate in my mind with a heightened cultural resonance which has made me aware that many of the things I was wont to take for granted – and more importantly, for universal – are in fact quintessentially English. The squeezing down tiny country lanes, peering at the rolling fields and roadside hot-dog joints from the back seat of a rickety old bus; the relentless majesty of my University city of Oxford and the quiet, unassuming homeliness of the town of Leighton Buzzard where I spent my childhood years; the bustling shops where queues are orderly and the Queen’s head is currency… and the British people! Waiting quietly at bus stops and watching the day go by outside pubs and greeting one another with that warm but reserved affection… and making me feel wonderfully like I am, and always will be, one of them.
Nevertheless, it has been said that he who has two languages has two souls…and yet how do I reconcile the aspects of my life in Britain which I yearn earnestly to take with me, with the desire not to carry too much weighty cultural baggage through the jungle of customs and traditions and attitudes which I will doubtless encounter in Germany? The problem is not dissimilar to that of packing my suitcase. Of course, I would be lost without the essentials which enable me to keep in touch with the country I leave behind, both literally and metaphorically – my list of contacts, my books and my photo collection, along with the essential materials for a fortifying cup of tea or a blast of Pink Floyd through headphones in the dark. Then there follow the features of my life which are important to me, but which do not seem culturally emblematic and should thus fit into my daily life in Germany as they do my existence in Britain, sitting at a form of crossroads. In this category: my mobile phone, my laptop and my belief that the majority of people hold fundamentally good intentions.
Finally, there are those facets of life in Britain which I will, for the most part, leave behind. As one who is rather fond of the English tongue, the most trying of these will be my language. I won’t just be communicating in German; the change of language will affect the way I think, the way I relate to people and possibly the way I feel. Expressing yourself in a new language is truly an adventure in itself.
At this point I must cut this post short, as I have to rise at 4am to make my way to Stansted airport. My thanks are due to everyone who has wished me well on my trip; I’m not sure how the next few days are going to pan out, but I’ll be sure to get online at some point to update you all with the latest.
But for now – Gute Nacht!